The Masked Dancer is another example of ITV killing a hit… just wait for The Masked Chefs
A PIN-DROP moment at The Masked Dancer as Davina McCall threatened to unravel a mystery that has puzzled the television world since about 1996 on Tuesday.
“I think,” she said cautiously, “I understood why I am here.” Yes . . . ?
“I am here to make people feel better about themselves. Never mind.
It was a nice thought, I guess, but “feeling better about yourself” is not an emotion I ever felt watching The Masked Dancer, a demanding surge surgery that was never going to work so well. although the sung version.
But you know what ITV looks like now.
They continued anyway, and the derivative format works very similar to the original, although there were some changes in the composition and balance of power of the jury.
Oti Mabuse has been a significant improvement over Rita Ora, Jonathan Ross stealthily takes over presentation duties from Joel Dommett, Mo Gilligan remains obsessively convinced that every potentially hot contestant is “Maya Jama” and Davina still looks utterly lost without autocue to invite him.
The costumes also had to change and besides being lighter they also seem a little more sinister.
Burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese, we were disappointed to find, was inside the ruptured hemorrhoid outfit that was called “Beetroot”, but the one that continues to chase me through my dreams is “Squirrel” who looks more like Nick Ferrari, after his fourth bottle of Merlot, or the hot face of Paloma Faith.
Davina initially thought that “Bruno Mars” might be hiding inside Squirrel, but, safely, despite not seeing last night’s episode, you can ignore his advice because ” managing expectations “is not really the strong point of the panel.
Names ventured, in the first four episodes, included: Margot Robbie, Daniel Day-Lewis, Portia de Rossi, Paris Hilton, Gemma Arterton, Shania Twain and even “Ru Paul” for the hyperactive chubby in the Zip suit.
Which stands in stark contrast to the numbing reality of Jordan Banjo (Viper), Louise Redknapp (Flamingo) and Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards (Rubber Chicken), but doesn’t begin to match the disappointment I felt when Beetroot mentioned that she was “often pickled” and no one shouted “JUDY ?!
Optimism isn’t always a bad thing, of course. This can sometimes work to the benefit of the comedy of the series. As he did, Tuesday night, when Rubber Chicken performed an energetic jive, at Lou Bega’s Mambo No5, and Oti Mabuse passed everyone by concluding very seriously that the occupant was: “Lord Sebastian Coe”.
However, I don’t want to cheer The Masked Dancer too much here, as the real headless chickens are ITV, who almost always lose the plot when they get a hit show.
It starts with The Masked Singer and then, before you know it, the networks are filled with copy shows, like Game Of Talents and I Can See Your Voice, Joel Dommett is announced as the new host of the National Television Awards and the spin off. series appear.
This one is tolerable I guess. If it’s a success, however, The Masked Dancer certainly wouldn’t be the last. TV would be peppered with masked chefs, masked comedians, masked vets, until the laws of supply and demand kick in and viewers decide they hated all guessing games involving a hidden identity or whatever in a mask.
ITV would have managed to destroy the thing they love the most and for their own good that cannot happen.
The Masked Singer might be silly and demeaning, but a lot of other entertaining things in life and on TV are too, which is why it’s worth saving. Meanwhile, Davina McCall’s point hunt continues (ITV, tonight, 7:30 p.m.).
Lookalike of the week
This week’s winner is The Scream by Pep Guardiola and Munch. Sent by Rab Bull, Sidcup.
Image research, Amy Reading.
Great sports previews
JOE Cole: “It’s impossible to answer, but it’s no. “
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink: “We’re in a hectic second the first 45 minutes.”
Joe Cole: “The decision was not bad. It just wasn’t right.
The moving Friday night dinner celebration of the great Paul Ritter, who could do everything from comedy to Chernobyl.
BBC2’s Springwatch introduced me to the incredibly cute concept of Glasgow’s “fruit-eating” water voles.
A countdown of letters leaving Dictionary Corner’s Janet Street-Porter with IGENYMIRS and nowhere else to go than “MINGERS”.
And Kate Winslet’s dark gorgeous Mare Of Easttown, on Sky Atlantic, which is heavy for the first episode, but well worth it.
Big lies and televised delusions
- YESTERDAY, Today and the day before, Ria Lina: “See you next week for a more sparkling news chat.”
- Packed Lunch, Steph McGovern: “What we all know and love about you, Arg, is your personality.”
- The Masked Dancer, Joel Dommett: “Davina, I like your hair tonight.” Oh go ahead, Joel. It looks like the Canesten barcode.
- Meanwhile, on BBC2’s planet Springwatch, Iolo Williams: “If you’re at home with kids and they’re bored, dissect some owl meatballs. It’s brilliant. “
- Yes. Owl shit rummaging. I’ll keep that in mind, Iolo. By the way, regarding Iolo Williams: “If you’ve ever been approached, on some areas of the RSPB, by someone who wants to show you a black rooster, then do it. It is fabulous.”
- NO. Run like a devil.
It’s time for Anne to go
CHANNEL 5 introduced us to a black, bisexual Anne Boleyn this week and now clearly believes that the spirit of Martin Luther King beats in his soul.
This is not the case, of course.
It was an empty, direct gesture that didn’t even extend to Anne’s uncle, who was white. Although this anomaly is not as troublesome as the fact that Henry VIII appears to have installed roller shutters in one of the upstairs bedrooms of his castle.
Where the hell did he get them? Hillarys Summer Sale 1535?
One of those things you notice when you’re only half engaged with a boring miniseries where the budget was clearly tight and the script was just a bunch of soap shots, of the lesbian kiss with Jane Seymour to the screaming matches with her husband, which gave Anne and Henry of Jodie Turner-Smith and Mark Stanley all the influence of Janine and Barry of EastEnders.
So I can’t even tell you if I shrugged or clapped when he had the narky mare beheaded.
But, for the story: not only was she accused of plotting to kill the king, which was clearly ridiculous, but the Norfolk-born aristocrat was also accused of having “a carnal knowledge of her brother” .
Bang right then.
Ferguson used to build these brilliant teams
MAZON’S Never Give In is a beautiful tribute to Sir Alex Ferguson, directed by his son Jason.
The background of the documentary is a brain hemorrhage that nearly killed Fergie, in 2018, and could have so easily erased precious memories of the early years in Govan with her parents, Elizabeth, the devoted mother, who saw nothing of the sort. evil, and Alexander, the near-impossible-to-impress shipyard worker father who lived by a familiar rule: “No honor of establishment can compare to the privilege of belonging to the Scottish working class.”
Fergie accepted all the accolades they could give her, of course.
It was his education, however, that he used to build these brilliant teams that dismantled the established order of football and rocked the football world to its foundations when they conquered the European aristocrats.
But then, inexplicably, Fergie left Aberdeen in 1986 and the documentary fades a bit, if I’m 100% honest with you. Pity.
Unexpected morons in the bagging area
THE Chase, Celebrity Special, Bradley Walsh: “Introduced in 1964, what type of Ford car is named after a wild horse? “
Rylan Clark-Neal: “Cougar”.
Tipping Point, Ben Shephard: “Which section of an orchestra usually belong to maracas? “
Tony: “Woodwind. ”
And The Chase, Bradley Walsh: “Paul Nash’s Battle Of Britain painting represents a scene from what war?
Katie: “World War I. “
- AND to everyone who sent the email – yes, thanks, I noticed the scheduling conflict between Piers Morgan’s Life Stories / Inside KFC.
Random television irritations
PIERS MORGAN tries to contort his face into something that looks like “compassion” in Keir Starmer’s life stories.
David Mitchell trying to get the audience to applaud for Have I Got News For You instead of laughing.
Mother-in-law Theresa Balboa charged with “preventing his father from breathing” before boy was found dead
Husband jailed for beating wife to death on cruise after guests believed it was an act
Bombshell UFO report “cannot explain sightings” but Pentagon DENIES they are aliens
Chinese whistleblower says Fauci emails BACK UP his claim Covid is a ‘weapon’
Moment Texas mom SHOOT on her son, 5, as she tugged at neighbor’s dog
BBC1’s graphics service failed to display the word “BAD” when Ricky Wilson sang on I Can See Your Voice.
Comedy Central deserved to lose the first word of its name for its abomination of yesterday, today and before.
And Linda Carter of EastEnders, owner of London’s most ridiculously awakened pub, announcing that the Queen Vic “must do more for the deaf community”, as if they haven’t all screamed their fools in this place since 1985 .